People in Love sometimes say, “I WAS SWEPT OFF MY FEET”. Think about the IMAGERY of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and HAPPENED to you.
Falling in Love is easy. It's a PASSIVE and SPONTANEOUS experience. But after a few years of RELATIONSHIP, the EUPHORIA of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone CALLS become a bother (if they come at all), TOUCH is not always welcome (when it happens), and your partner's IDIOSYNCRASIES, instead of being CUTE, drives you NUTS! The SYMPTOMS of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your RELATIONSHIP, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were CRAZY in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, “AM I INVOLVED WITH THE ‘RIGHT’ PERSON?” And as you and your spouse ponder over the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to DESIRE that experience with someone else. This is when relationships/marriages breakdown. People BLAME their spouse for their UNHAPPINESS and look outside their relationship/marriage for FULFILLMENT.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all forms. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to their work, a hobby, friends, excessive TV, or abusive substances or social networking sites (like FACEBOOK, TWITTER, MXIT, etc.). When in actuality, the answer to this DILEMMA does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies WITHIN it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the SAME situation a few years later. Because THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'MAKE' it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression 'THE LABOR OF LOVE.' Because it takes TIME, EFFORT and great ENERGY, and most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your relationship/marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the RIGHT diet and exercise program can make you physically stronger, certain HABITS in your relationship can make your relationship stronger and better with each passing day. It's a direct CAUSE and EFFECT. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... You can 'MAKE' it because Love in relationships/marriages is also a 'DECISION'... Not just a FEELING!
Always bear in mind that though fate/God MAY determines who walks into your life, it’s up to you to decide who you DECIDE to let go, who you ALLOW to stay, and who you REFUSE to let go!
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